Last December I hit the BIG 2-5. I am still single (not by my own choice) but I’m ok with it (4now), unless time goes by and I become “the old lady with the cat”. I am one of those romantic people believing there’s a soul mate out there for each person, I thought I wuda met mine by now. Being a reality TV freak, there are shows that can help in my state, enter the Bachelor. But I won’t be signing up for The Bachelor soon, these are my reasons why.
5. The stereotype of beauty
Thousands of ladies will be sending in their pictures for a chance to meet their “soul mate”, and the producers will be judging who gets the chance from the pics. They would be looking for your conventional beauty: tall, thin, long hair. While I am the opposite of conventional beauty, I’m actually anti-conventional. Being short, ample and with afro. I am a t-shirt, jeans and takkies babe; let me mention my jeans runneth over with my apple bottom! But beauty is in the eye of the beholder (amehlo awaphakelani). So let’s say I’m successful and get selected…
4. “Sister Blister”
Sister Blister is an Alanis Morisette song about girls competing and dissing each other to get the man. So there’s one man, “the prize” and how many females? Living under one roof, competing for his affections. I have one word for you: CAT-FIGHT! Remember Lee-ann (season 4) or Kirsten (season 3) who both went on to lose! But is it/he worth it my sisters?
3. The rose ceremony
I have watched seasons of The Bachelor and imagined it’s me getting a rose from my soul mate. In reality I am not into roses or any flowers because I am such a ghetto child they are wasted on me. Flowers die and roses have thorns. So whether I win or lose, the thorns will prick (see number 1 and 2 below)
2. I lose
Here I am, the final two, but only one rose. In the limousine I am so excited and nervous, I go to him hoping I’m the one…alas, I am not I am sent home to my “hokie”(worst case scenario), on the bus, back to the office and everyone’s stares, points and pity for me. Smiling bravely and saying what a good experience it all was, meanwhile screaming “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO” inside.
1. I win
He chooses me out of everybody, great! We live happily ever after. Rewind! How many couples actually lived happily ever after? Down the road, lights and cameras off, the real world. He discovers I chew my toenails. Or he shouts the word “mommy” in throes of ecstasy. Cut, cut, cut!
Part of the reasons why I am still single at 25 is because of this romantic ideal, where I expect a date to be like an episode from The Bachelor.
Let me be content with my life, soulmateless. In my quest to meet my true soul mate I have countered hilarious situations and have stories to tell my kids, that is if I don’t end up “the old lady with the cat”.
Romantic bloggers out there, I know u there; imagine a home brewed Mzantsi version of The Bachelor, hahaha. The location, Cape Town, Joburg, Durban? Cape Town is gorgeous and a great place for romance.
# 5.Where would your ideal date be, where in your city would you take someone to impress them? What do you find beautiful, I’m all about inner beauty. Have you met someone you have great chemistry with but no chemistry in the looks department? Have you ever been rejected on looks?
# 4. Do guys fight for girls (cos I see a lot of this from girls about men)? Did you have people fight over you? (What a great feeling!)
# 3.What gifts melt your heart, are flowers part of it?
# 2. Have you ever fought for anyone, did you win or lose?
# 1.If you won, did it last?
Finally,,, sistas, have you ever made the first move? Guys, how would you react to that?
