Recently I have gone through a life altering experience. I have welcomed a new being into my life. During a conversation with a couple of friends we mentioned our childhoods and the ways in which we were raised. I remember my childhood years quite vividly and very fondly, they were amongst the happiest times in my existence. As I recounted my memories to my friends they were utterly aghast at the role my father played in my upbringing. I was equally shocked by their response and disbelief in the reversal of gender roles.
To paint you, reader, a picture of my childhood, I grew up in a kasi during the eighties. It was a time where children played those old school games in the streets until they were red with dust. A period where a mere fifty cents could buy all the snacks your little heart could dream of. Yes, in my home the roles based on gender were contrary to those held by tradition.
My mother worked at the local hospital; she owned and drove a vehicle. My father also owned his vehicle but he had taken an early retirement package from his workplace which meant that he was home, most o the time. My father, as an African man, I believe, was quite ahead of his time. I have fantastic memories of him getting me ready for a day at the day care. I recall him teaching me the Freedom Charter of 1955, and teaching me how to tell time. We would sit together having coffee, I felt all so grown up. To me he was a positive male role model; I do not know how he felt about those times, and the role he played. Culturally, an African man who would play a pivotal role in raising a child in the manner that my father did would be viewed as an emasculated man.
Traditionally, women are the ones expected to rear the children, while the men are away from the homestead. Whilst the men are away, the women are the ones shaping the kind of person the child will become when they are adults. Raising children is one of life’s important and challenging tasks, as that person will have a part in shaping the future. When the men are away from home, they are missing out on quality time with their child. Quality time which they could use to fill the void and to create a balance in the life and the outlook of the child.
On my personal journey, I will be raising a boy child. He will grow up without an emphasis on gender work division, or any gender specific roles. I will do this in the hopes to shape a man who will have respect for gender equality in all aspects of life.
Opposing that cultural and traditional belief, men, particularly African men, should be encouraged to play a more participatory role in raising their offspring, in that way, they imprint a personal stamp on the future adult.
