Showing posts with label living. Show all posts
Showing posts with label living. Show all posts
28 February 2012
06 February 2012
Being...lessons...
Being a male is a matter of birth
Being a man is a matter of age
BUT
Being a gentleman is a matter of choice!
Being a man is a matter of age
BUT
Being a gentleman is a matter of choice!
25 January 2012
gender roles
Gender roles
Recently I have gone through a life altering experience. I have welcomed a new being into my life. During a conversation with a couple of friends we mentioned our childhoods and the ways in which we were raised. I remember my childhood years quite vividly and very fondly, they were amongst the happiest times in my existence. As I recounted my memories to my friends they were utterly aghast at the role my father played in my upbringing. I was equally shocked by their response and disbelief in the reversal of gender roles.
To paint you, reader, a picture of my childhood, I grew up in a kasi during the eighties. It was a time where children played those old school games in the streets until they were red with dust. A period where a mere fifty cents could buy all the snacks your little heart could dream of. Yes, in my home the roles based on gender were contrary to those held by tradition.
My mother worked at the local hospital; she owned and drove a vehicle. My father also owned his vehicle but he had taken an early retirement package from his workplace which meant that he was home, most o the time. My father, as an African man, I believe, was quite ahead of his time. I have fantastic memories of him getting me ready for a day at the day care. I recall him teaching me the Freedom Charter of 1955, and teaching me how to tell time. We would sit together having coffee, I felt all so grown up. To me he was a positive male role model; I do not know how he felt about those times, and the role he played. Culturally, an African man who would play a pivotal role in raising a child in the manner that my father did would be viewed as an emasculated man.
Traditionally, women are the ones expected to rear the children, while the men are away from the homestead. Whilst the men are away, the women are the ones shaping the kind of person the child will become when they are adults. Raising children is one of life’s important and challenging tasks, as that person will have a part in shaping the future. When the men are away from home, they are missing out on quality time with their child. Quality time which they could use to fill the void and to create a balance in the life and the outlook of the child.
On my personal journey, I will be raising a boy child. He will grow up without an emphasis on gender work division, or any gender specific roles. I will do this in the hopes to shape a man who will have respect for gender equality in all aspects of life.
Opposing that cultural and traditional belief, men, particularly African men, should be encouraged to play a more participatory role in raising their offspring, in that way, they imprint a personal stamp on the future adult.
Recently I have gone through a life altering experience. I have welcomed a new being into my life. During a conversation with a couple of friends we mentioned our childhoods and the ways in which we were raised. I remember my childhood years quite vividly and very fondly, they were amongst the happiest times in my existence. As I recounted my memories to my friends they were utterly aghast at the role my father played in my upbringing. I was equally shocked by their response and disbelief in the reversal of gender roles.
To paint you, reader, a picture of my childhood, I grew up in a kasi during the eighties. It was a time where children played those old school games in the streets until they were red with dust. A period where a mere fifty cents could buy all the snacks your little heart could dream of. Yes, in my home the roles based on gender were contrary to those held by tradition.
My mother worked at the local hospital; she owned and drove a vehicle. My father also owned his vehicle but he had taken an early retirement package from his workplace which meant that he was home, most o the time. My father, as an African man, I believe, was quite ahead of his time. I have fantastic memories of him getting me ready for a day at the day care. I recall him teaching me the Freedom Charter of 1955, and teaching me how to tell time. We would sit together having coffee, I felt all so grown up. To me he was a positive male role model; I do not know how he felt about those times, and the role he played. Culturally, an African man who would play a pivotal role in raising a child in the manner that my father did would be viewed as an emasculated man.
Traditionally, women are the ones expected to rear the children, while the men are away from the homestead. Whilst the men are away, the women are the ones shaping the kind of person the child will become when they are adults. Raising children is one of life’s important and challenging tasks, as that person will have a part in shaping the future. When the men are away from home, they are missing out on quality time with their child. Quality time which they could use to fill the void and to create a balance in the life and the outlook of the child.
On my personal journey, I will be raising a boy child. He will grow up without an emphasis on gender work division, or any gender specific roles. I will do this in the hopes to shape a man who will have respect for gender equality in all aspects of life.
Opposing that cultural and traditional belief, men, particularly African men, should be encouraged to play a more participatory role in raising their offspring, in that way, they imprint a personal stamp on the future adult.
18 November 2011
Snippets of the year 2011
Snippets of the year so far (November)
Cape Town By Dusk
Long Street
Stones
Cape Town By Night
Cape Town
JoBurg,Long Street
Pretoria, Long Street
The Big Wheel, Waterfront
Friends... Fun... Music...
Simphiwe Dana
JaMaLi
Nnevida
Simonstown Black Mambazo
Queen Phyll, Jean
Jean, V
Jean, Mama Shumi, Asa, V
Signs Of Good Things To Come...
With Infinite Thanksgiving!
Cape Town By Dusk
Long Street
Stones
Cape Town By Night
Cape Town
JoBurg,Long Street
Pretoria, Long Street
The Big Wheel, Waterfront
Friends... Fun... Music...
Simphiwe Dana
JaMaLi
Nnevida
Simonstown Black Mambazo
Queen Phyll, Jean
Jean, V
Jean, Mama Shumi, Asa, V
Signs Of Good Things To Come...
With Infinite Thanksgiving!
29 July 2011
SUNSCREEN
SUNSCREEN
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth.
Never mind.
You’ll not understand the power and beauty of your youth
Until they’ve faded.
But trust me, in twenty years,
You will look back at photos of yourself
And recall how fabulous you really looked at the time.
You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don’t worry about the future,
Or worry,
Knowing that worrying is as effective as
Trying to solve an algebra problem by chewing gum
The real troubles in your life
Are absolutely the things that never crossed your mind.
The kind that blind sight you at 4pm on an idle Tuesday.
Do atleast one thing everyday that scares you.
Sing.
Don’t be reckless with other people’s heart.
Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don’t waste your time with jealousy,
Sometimes you’re ahead,
Sometimes you’re behind.
The race is long and in the end,
It’s only with yourself.
Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults.
If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep old love letters.
Throw away old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what to do with your life.
The most people I know
Didn’t know at 24 what they wanted to do with their lives.
Some of the most interesting 40 year olds still don’t.
Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees.
You’ll miss them when they’re gone.
Maybe you’ll get married,
Maybe you won’t.
Maybe you’ll have children,
Maybe you won’t.
Maybe you’ll get divorced at forty,
Maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken
At your 75th wedding anniversary.
Whatever you do,
Don’t congratulate yourself too much,
Or berate yourself either.
Your choices are half chance
Like everybody else’s.
Enjoy your body,
Use it in every way you can.
Don’t be afraid of it
Or what other people think of it.
It’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever have.
Dance.
Even if you have nowhere to do it
But your own living room.
Read instructions, even if you don’t follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines,
That will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents,
You never know when they’ll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings,
They’re the best link to your past
And the people that are likely to stick by you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go,
But with the precious few you should hold on to.
The older you get,
The more you need the people
That knew you when you were young.
Live in New York City once,
But leave before it makes you hard.
Live in Northern California once,
But leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalliable truths.
Prices will rise,
Politicians will philander,
You too will get old, and when you do,
You’ll fantasize that when you where younger,
Prices were reasonable,
Politicians were noble,
And children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don’t expect anyone to support you,
Maybe you’ll have trust fund,
Maybe you’ll have a wealthy spouse.
But you never know when either will run out.
Don’t mess too much with your hair,
Or by the time you’re 40
You’ll look 85.
Be careful whose advice you take,
But be patient with those who give it.
Advice is a form of nostalgia.
Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the rubbish bin,
Wiping it off, and patting over the other parts,
And recycling it for more than its worth.
But, trust me on the sunscreen.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth.
Never mind.
You’ll not understand the power and beauty of your youth
Until they’ve faded.
But trust me, in twenty years,
You will look back at photos of yourself
And recall how fabulous you really looked at the time.
You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don’t worry about the future,
Or worry,
Knowing that worrying is as effective as
Trying to solve an algebra problem by chewing gum
The real troubles in your life
Are absolutely the things that never crossed your mind.
The kind that blind sight you at 4pm on an idle Tuesday.
Do atleast one thing everyday that scares you.
Sing.
Don’t be reckless with other people’s heart.
Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don’t waste your time with jealousy,
Sometimes you’re ahead,
Sometimes you’re behind.
The race is long and in the end,
It’s only with yourself.
Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults.
If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep old love letters.
Throw away old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what to do with your life.
The most people I know
Didn’t know at 24 what they wanted to do with their lives.
Some of the most interesting 40 year olds still don’t.
Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees.
You’ll miss them when they’re gone.
Maybe you’ll get married,
Maybe you won’t.
Maybe you’ll have children,
Maybe you won’t.
Maybe you’ll get divorced at forty,
Maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken
At your 75th wedding anniversary.
Whatever you do,
Don’t congratulate yourself too much,
Or berate yourself either.
Your choices are half chance
Like everybody else’s.
Enjoy your body,
Use it in every way you can.
Don’t be afraid of it
Or what other people think of it.
It’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever have.
Dance.
Even if you have nowhere to do it
But your own living room.
Read instructions, even if you don’t follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines,
That will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents,
You never know when they’ll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings,
They’re the best link to your past
And the people that are likely to stick by you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go,
But with the precious few you should hold on to.
The older you get,
The more you need the people
That knew you when you were young.
Live in New York City once,
But leave before it makes you hard.
Live in Northern California once,
But leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalliable truths.
Prices will rise,
Politicians will philander,
You too will get old, and when you do,
You’ll fantasize that when you where younger,
Prices were reasonable,
Politicians were noble,
And children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don’t expect anyone to support you,
Maybe you’ll have trust fund,
Maybe you’ll have a wealthy spouse.
But you never know when either will run out.
Don’t mess too much with your hair,
Or by the time you’re 40
You’ll look 85.
Be careful whose advice you take,
But be patient with those who give it.
Advice is a form of nostalgia.
Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the rubbish bin,
Wiping it off, and patting over the other parts,
And recycling it for more than its worth.
But, trust me on the sunscreen.
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